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The Journal of Aiden Sinclair
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15th-Feb-2010 10:21 pm - What makes a leader?
Today was President's Day. That meant another day out of school for my friends. We spent it lounging around my house, discussing the snow that fell on Friday and watching movies. The girls finally talked us guys into watching Twilight. I won't go into my opinion of it, as I don't feel it warrants much of an opinion. Let's just say that vampires are fictional and that's where they should stay - in books and movies.

After the movie, River brought up a topic that's much closer to home for us. He pointed out that President's Day is another holiday used to get a day off supposedly to honor past and present Presidents of the United States. My friends discussed the few presidents they remembered from their history course, while I simply listened. I took in all of their conversation about these great men and the things they left behind.

As they talked, I thought of the leaders more close to me - the leaders of our pack. At the Charleston level, there's River's dad, Mr. Haverill, who also happens to be our headmaster at school. He does a great job of keeping us safe and informed of things going on.

He's not the one I thought the most on though. After my friends left, I remained in the living room and thought about the leader of our original pack, my grandfather.

The Charleston pack was formed when our parents decided they were tired of the mountain life in Canada. As Mr. Haverill tells it, my mother and her friends were tired of living like wolves and wished to live more like humans. My mother did the math and convinced her friends that werewolves are more human than wolf. It makes perfect sense when you think about the fact that we only spend three days of every moon cycle as a wolf. That's roughly 36 days a year out of 365 total days. I would say we're more human than wolf as well.

My mother was set to inherit the role of pack leader after finding a mate. I have been told that my grandfather was more mad at the fact that she turned her back on being pack leader than on the fact that she turned her back on the original pack. You see, when a new pack forms, the role of pack leader suddenly becomes available and it is up to the original members of the pack to determine how a new leader will be chosen. Our parents decided that the role would go to the pack member who found their mate first, since a leader shouldn't lead without a mate.

To make a long story short, Mr. Haverill was the first among our parents to find his mate. My mother found my father mere months later, but it was too late. By that time, Mr. Haverill had already assumed the role of leader. I'm sure it would've been debateable if my mother could lead with a human mate anyways.

I spent a lot of time thinking about my mother and her heritage. When my father came home, I asked him to tell me more about my mother and he simply told me that he still wasn't ready to talk about her or her disappearance. I am hoping that one of these days he'll be willing to confide in me. But, at this point, I'm not holding my breath.
JI Water
14th-Feb-2010 08:35 pm - Love
I have been told that Valentine's Day is used to celebrate love. I've never fully understood that though. It seems to me that if you love someone, you should celebrate that love everyday. It doesn't seem enough to me to simply celebrate it for one day out of the year.

I, for one, have never been in love. None of my friends have. We have heard our parent's stories of love and how they met. We have heard the stories of how a wolf knows when he has found his destined mate. According to the leaders of our pack, there will be no hesitation when we meet our mate. It will be an instant, unbreakable connection.

As binding as this sounds, I also wonder at the lack of excitement with it. I have read many books in my years of homeschooling and they all describe wondrous, thrilling ways that characters fall in love. Are we simply animals with none of the humane feelings of these books or do even the werewolves stand a chance at falling in love?

I want to find that girl that makes my heart race. I want to find the girl who makes me question everything I know about life. I want to find my match - the girl who wants exciting love and doesn't want to simply settle for what is "supposed to be." 

I want a love that I can celebrate every day of the year, not just on Valentine's Day.
Porch Swing
13th-Feb-2010 09:00 am - Snow

I woke this morning to a blanket of white surrounding our house. For a moment, I thought I was in the mountains on a phasing trip. Winter phasing trips are the only times that I have seen snow in my life. It snows much more frequently in the upstate's mountains than it does along the coast. It definitely never sticks in Charleston.

But this morning was different. This morning I stepped outside and listened as the few inches of snow crunched under my feet and caused me to lose my footing. A once familiar landscape was transformed overnight into something wondrous and new to my eyes. From all around, I could hear excited shouts.

It wasn't until I was pelted in the back with a snowball that I realized where the excited shouts were coming form. My friends were taking this rare opportunity to host a snowball fight in our backyards. River's snowball stung a little and I'm glad I don't have to worry about bruising. I'm sure he received his fair share of hurtful snowballs from my own arm. There was no way I was going to resist a snowball fight. Those are hard to have when you're traversing the mountains on all fours.

I'm still in shock that it actually snowed in my hometown. Fifteen years and this is the first time that I have seen this much snow amass in my backyard. It is a rare, but welcome sight indeed.

Wolf 1
18th-Jan-2010 09:01 pm - A Search for History
Today is the day we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and all that he did for the United States.

To celebrate this man, schools give students the day off and many government buildings close. If you ask me, it's just another excuse to have a day off. I'm sure that most people don't go out and celebrate the diversity and mock acceptance that exists in the United States today. The country uses this day to pride itself on how far along it's come, but I wonder if it really has come that far.

Take my friends and me, for instance. We can't readily go out in public as our true selves. There is only so much about me that I can reveal to others. People would freak if they knew that I spent three days each month as a wolf. They would freak if they saw how strong I am or if they knew that I could hear their conversation from yards away. Eavesdropping is just one of the things that I am exceptionally good at because of my wolf side.

None of these features would be accepted by others. Sure, some of them would be intrigued by the things that make me different, but most would ostracize me in an instant. My friends are the only ones that I can truly be myself with and that is only because they are members of my pack. There are no secrets with them and I like it that way.

So, today, my friends and I celebrated their day off by sneaking into Mr. Haverill's office and having ourselves a little history lesson. We were hoping to find books on the history of werewolves. Instead, we found books on the history of the world. It seems we're going to have to dig deeper to find the history lesson we're looking for.
Wolf 2
10th-Jan-2010 09:45 pm - I'm Just Like You

It occurred to me today that I can never be totally honest with anyone. There is a part of me that will always be hidden from the rest of the world. My friends are the only ones that will ever get to see me as a wolf.

I had human friends once - before I started phasing, before my father took me out of school. My best friend didn't always live in my neighborhood.

We were once great friends. We would run the stretch of beach behind his house, splashing in and out of the surf. We would climb the trees in my backyard and do cannonballs off the dock. The whole of Charleston was our playground.

 Some of my fondest childhood memories involve him. Now, though, there is little chance of us renewing a once great friendship. I lost my partner in crime the day my body took on a new shape.

Humans don't exactly fit in with our world.

JI Water
3rd-Jan-2010 12:00 pm - The Blue Moon

Thursday brought the second full moon of December. This meant another trip to the upstate for phasing. This isn't the first blue moon I've seen and it certainly won't be the last blue moon. I just hate that the year ended with a blue moon. I would've loved to have been at home bringing in the New Year with my family. Ordinarily, the pack would've gathered at someone's house and brought in the New Year with games and singing.

Not this New Year though. This year, we traveled to the upstate, leaving behind my father and brother. We left Charleston late Tuesday (Dec 29) and arrived here with a couple of hours to spare before phasing around 2 am, a full day and a half before the full moon. We roamed the mountains as wolves until a day and a half after the full moon.

I still haven't decided if I prefer life as a wolf or a human. Both sides definitely have their ups and downs, but which side has more ups? It's strange to know that you hold a large decision in your hands. I can ultimately choose what I want to be. How many people can say that about themselves? How many people can say they have a choice this large in their life?

Full Moon (Mountains)
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